Baby Care

They say that babies don't come with a book of instructions. i didn't notice any instructions tied to Eliana's ankle when she was born, so thank goodness somebody wrote some! We will never have to worry again. If you aren't quite to the baby care phase of life, you can see the pregnancy instructions here. I'm sure Eliana will be a happier baby now that I have something to guide me.

I think this way of lifting a baby might make it cry. Or something.

Parents could trip on the TV cord. Bad idea.

She hasn't warmed up on her husband to give a proper massage.

If you burn your tongue that badly you wouldn't be able to taste for days.

So that's why they call Wymount the rabbit hutches.

Mmm...hairy chest. Delicious.

Watching that would probably freak the fish out.

You know, I've heard of rubbing a finger wet with schnapps in a baby's mouth to help them sleep through the night. The whole bottle is definitely just too much.

This baby already knows his dad is a nerd. Look at his face. I love you, Eric. :)

You ever notice it's mostly the dad in the "no" picture? Hmm...

Little babies should be buckled in rear facing positions.

My dad calls this the dipstick method.

You don't know where that baby's nose has been. Wait...

Slobber on your shoes? Eeewwww!

Hooray for coach Dad!

Tossing a can in like that could break your eggs.

They must just mean the hose is a bad method in winter. Too cold.

This could potentially ruin your dryer.

Growing up I always thought this was what my mom meant when she said they put me in a dresser drawer to sleep when they went to Hawaii when I was a few months old.

Downstairs neighbors wouldn't appreciate the baby being woken in this manner.