Pregnancy Tips

I have seen this in the form of Infant Care Dos and Don'ts, but my brother showed me these ones for pregnancy and I thought they were much more appropriate for my time in life. To any expecting ladies, pay close attention. These are IMPORTANT!!!

Binge drinking has never been a problem for me, although alcohol commercials look strangely enticing in my first trimester. It's weird.

Mmm...foreign foods.

I'd like to see my husband try to wear my pants. Wait...he can. Shoot.

"She flies through the air, with the greatest of heaves. I mean ease."

Sexy.

I call this Son Meets the Sun As Mother Collapses.

Obviously, this should not be done because pregnant women should stay off their feet.

But I thought Adolf and Stalin were great twin names!

It's way too expensive to rent a mechanical bull for a shower. Don't do it.

The camp stove is my favorite.

Good thing we live less than a half mile from the hospital.

I hadn't even considered a videographer. Hmm...

The man doesn't deserve to be beaten with a board with a nail simply because labor is painful. Just the board should be sufficient.

This is wrong because it would probably frighten the woman in the chair. It's much better to slug him in the stomach when she's not looking.

No comment.

Her husband looks MUCH more dignified in the first picture.

They must be horrified with her stretch marks.

These tips should ensure a healthy, happy pregnancy. It's too bad they don't have something for dealing with morning sickness or the constant trips to the bathroom. Oh, well.